Posted on December 28, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca and his soccer team, The Fuzzballs (pictured above), have won the World Cup 24 consecutive times in a row. They accomplished this by relying on Chewie’s Wookiee-roar, which allowed The Fuzzballs to kick the ball in the net, while the other team lay on the ground, stunned by the piercing growl.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Ewoks are just leftovers from when Chewbacca shaves his fur.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca ran for US president ’08. He decided to stop his campaign on the basis of “I have better places to enslave, like the entire Galaxy!”. Several weeks later, Chewie was forcing people to vote for him for Galactic President on the basis of “Vote for me or I will rip your limbs off!”.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by hindleyite
Chewbacca was a pitcher for the New York Yankees in a previous life. Often the batter would purposely strike out just to be further away from Chewie’s piercing growl.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Every time Chewbacca pwns some one, comic book style phrases just appear out of nowhere in fear that if they don’t Chewie will pwn them too.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca makes extra money by endorsing The Kashyyyk Times. Chewbacca stamped the paper’s logo onto his foot, so that when he stomps on his victims’ faces the last thing they see is “The Kashyyyk Times”.
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Posted on December 23, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Lando Calrissian once forgot to pay Chewbacca back his money. Now Lando drinks threw a metal straw in his nose.
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Posted on December 20, 2008 by hindleyite
Underneath his furry exterior, Chewie wears a bulletproof jacket to avoid being sniped in drive-by shootings comitted by those Trandosan slavers. He also keeps three chickens and a hammock underneath his knee.
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Posted on December 19, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca randomly recieves gold medals just because of how awesome he is.
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Posted on December 13, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca does not read. He stares datapads down until he gets the information he wants.
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Posted on December 13, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
With every step, Chewbacca causes a wave of destruction.
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Posted on December 13, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
When at the height of his power, Chewbacca can unleash a super powered force (pictured above), which can be extremely deadly. This has happened on two occasions. One, where the victim was torn in half, burst into flames, disenagrated, and repeated the process fourteen times before shattering into ten thousand pieces, which burst into flames. The second occasion, which was on a much lesser scale, resulted in Han Solo being spontaneously frozen in carbonite.
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Posted on December 13, 2008 by ragglefraggleking
Chewbacca does not sleep. He waits.
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